Home

As many of  you  know, I moved from Southern California to Portland, Oregon last October.  The reasons behind the move are varied, and the act of picking up and moving a long distance is traumatic enough.  To say I downsized in order to move to Portland would be an understatement; though I held on to many of my cherished belongings, and put the most important things in my little car and drove north.  The rest of my things stayed in storage.

Last week, I returned to Southern California to retrieve my items out of storage.  There was more stuff in that little storage facility than I had remembered.  So there I was, once again discarding more items and repacking. It was emotional. I kept telling myself that it was only "stuff."  But it was my stuff!  Every object had history behind it.  Since not everything could fit in the car or in my new place in Portland, I inevitably had to let even more things go. Downsizing again.  But my motto has always been less is more, so I guess it's a good thing.  I guess...

On the drive back to Portland, I got to thinking about the meaning of home.  Southern California is so familiar to me.  I know where everything is; my family lives there and it was my home for many, many years.  But I never truly felt like I belonged there.  I always felt like I was on the outside looking in.  I've lived in many different cities and I've always had that similar feeling...that I was an outsider.  And so, because of that, I've moved around a lot...hoping to one day find the place that clicked.  That one day I could identify with a certain city and truly call it home.

Is Portland home?  I'm not sure yet.  I still have mixed feelings about this place, but I haven't even been here a year so it's too soon to tell.  I like it here a lot, but it takes more than that to make a place a home.  I am doing the best I can; finding ways to become part of the Portland community.  There are many opportunities here, so I have hope that I will one day hunker down and feel that this is where I belong.

For now, I simply ponder what it means to call a place "home."  Yes, now all my stuff is in one place and that feels good.  Secure.  But I need something more...yet whatever that something is, remains elusive.  I hope I find it here in Portland.  I'm not sure I have another long distance move in me.  Not for awhile anyway.  So I'm hunkering down...putting the books on the shelves and the pictures on the wall.  And for today, I am home. 

Shadows in the Night

Sometimes, I don't sleep very well.  Too much on my mind, perhaps.  Every now and then, the stress of life can really get to me and interrupt my sleep. I have been known to experience an anxiety attack or two in the middle of the night.  You've been there?  It's no fun, right?

Last night, I was having one of those nights.  Restless.  Tossing and turning...couldn't get comfortable.  Covers pushed off, then pulled back on as I started to shiver in the frosty night air.  I often like to have the window open just a crack to let the fresh air in, but last night it was pretty damn cold.

In that drowsy state between full consciousness and sleep, I knew I wanted to get up and shut the window. I opened my eyes and looking straight ahead, I was sure someone was standing in my bedroom.  A very tall person, wearing a hat.  Very broad-shouldered, and needless to say, very menacing.  I shut my eyes and opened them again very quickly, thinking that act alone would make "him" disappear.  Yet he remained. I felt my pulse race, I wanted to scream; I thought for a moment I was dreaming, but knew for a fact I was awake.  And I was.  I was awake.  And there was an intruder standing in front of my bed.

And yet...this figure never moved.  Never swayed.  And interestingly enough, never made a sound--not a breath or a sigh emanted from him. And as sleep fled, and my rational mind took over, the terror I felt a moment earlier seemed to dissipate.  And I was able to roll over and turn on the light.  My 7 foot, broad shouldered visitor with the hat was my jacket hanging in the wardrobe that faces my bed.  I turned the light off and he reappeared.  Clicked the light back on, and there was my innocent jacket once again.

I will never underestimate the power of light and shadow, and my own imagination.  If tonight brings the same agitated sleep, and once again the shadows fall in such a way to create a figure in the night, I will do my best to remain calm...know this "thing" means no harm...it's all just a figment of my wild, agitated thoughts.

Tell me...what do you see in the dark?



Scene and Be Seen...

As a writer, or any type of artist for that matter, it is always wonderful to have our work validated.  One of my new short plays is getting validation next week.  My heroes at The Collective Theatre Company in New York City are presenting new work at their May Fundraiser called "Scene and Be Seen," including one of my latest pieces entitled This is Temporary.

If you are in the NYC area, and are looking for a great evening of entertainment, knowing that at the same time you are supporting the arts and this innovative company, here are the details:

WHAT:    

SCENE AND BE SCENE" - THE COLLECTIVE/CROSSHATCH THEATRE COMPANY'S MAY FUNDRAISER
Directed by Stephen Agosto and Emma Canalese

WHEN:

MAY 20TH & 21ST AT 8PM (7pm Cocktail Hour)
$10 AT THE DOOR (INCLUDES A SHOW AND YOUR FIRST DRINK, WHAT A DEAL!!!)

WHERE:
The Neighborhood Playhouse
340 E. 54th Street
NY, NY

It's a great deal at only 10 bucks a pop and is sure to be a fun night!  So go out and support theatre, playwrights, actors and have a lot of fun doing it!  If you get the chance to go, I'd love to hear from you!





Technical Malfunction

I was working on a really great post.  I hadn't written on my own blog for awhile since I've been busy guest posting on other blogs (that's a good thing) and I really liked the new post I was working on.

So, I needed to walk away from it for a bit as I often do when I'm writing.  Take a little brain break as it were...I saved the draft and ran some errands.  When I returned, I couldn't get into my Blogger account.  Blogger had gone down!  For over 24 hours.  I couldn't finish the post.

When I returned to Blogger today...the post was gone!  So were a couple of comments I received that had never been published. AHHHHHHH.......

It was such a good post, if I do say so myself.  But now it's gone.  Forever.  I will try my best to retrieve it from the dark recesses of my mind, but the moment is gone.  The mood is gone.  It will take too much effort to try and resurrect it, and frankly...it wasn't that good.  In the meantime, here's this little rant.  I shall calm down and afterwards, I shall post something fresh and new and hopefully fun this weekend. 

Bloggers using Blogspot are all in a similar boat today and probably as P'O'd as I am.  It could have been worse.  I could have lost the whole thing.  Now, I'm wondering if I should move over to Wordpress?  Any thoughts on that one, people?  I would love to hear what you think...





Everyday People

Opening Night! There is nothing more exciting in the theatre world than an opening night and I'm happy to say TONIGHT is the opening of the world premiere of my play Everyday People.

The play deals with bullying in schools on every level, beginning with elementary school kids up through high school. And of course, it touches upon the issue of cyber bullying which is running rampant.

Not to sound too pessimistic, but I'm afraid bullying is never going to go away.  But I do think that if parents and teachers can pass on the message of kindness and tolerance, there may be a slowing down of the horridness we've been seeing lately.  Kids have bullied other kids since the beginning of time...I'm sure little Neanderthal children were slamming other Neanderthal children into cave walls.  But with the onslaught of technology, the ramifications of bullying via social networks and text messaging are profound.  And the results will never go away.  As Aaron Sorkin so succinctly wrote in the film "The Social Network," the Internet is written in ink. You can never erase it once it's out there.

I am hoping Everyday People will bring even more awareness to an already topical issue and hoping this type of behavior will no longer be tolerated.  I love theatre.  It educates.  It entertains.  It illuminates and inspires.  Happy Opening Night everybody!

Paying It Forward...

Holy Guacamole, Batman!  I was alerted this morning that one of my newest followers,  Thom Brown, who writes the blog To Gyre and Gambol, bestowed the Kreativ Blogger award upon me.  It was bestowed upon him as well, and he, in turn, is paying it forward and spreading the honor to other bloggers that he likes. I'm so flattered.

But with reward, comes responsibility.  So I have to pass the same Kreativ Blogger award along to ten bloggers that I deem worthy, and then  I have to reveal ten things about myself that most folks might not know.

10 things?  Really?  GULP...

Well, first things first.  Let me say how much I absolutely love to blog.  And I have met some extraordinary people in the blogging world.  It's amazing the friendships that have been created here in cyberspace.  The following 10 blogs are ones I totally dig. I would love to get to read them more often, but sometimes time is the enemy and I can't get there as often as I'd like. 

In the meantime, I share the following blogs with you as I bestow upon my creative colleagues, the Kreativ Blogger Award.  Don't forget to pay it forward friends!  Here's my list:

1.  Bonnie Joy Bardos writes Bohemian Artist: Painting & Thought.  Bonnie was one of the first bloggers I met and she is the epitome of an artist.  Her paintings are spectacular. I love her Bohemian ways. She, like her middle name, is a Joy!  Check her out.

2. Absolutely Kate is absolutely a riot.  Her blog, At the Bijou, is one of the most innovative and unique blogs I've ever visited.  And Kate is a hoot.  She features lots and lots of writers...all kinds, but mostly, if you like film noir, you'll like At the Bijou.

3. If you want someplace to rest your weary head, and feel a moment of peace, please visit Healing Morning.  Beautifully written by the talented Dawn Sievers.  You will feel renewed.

4.  A ukulele player who also deals antiques.  This is one innovative blog that I love stopping by from time to time. Lots of fun to check out the Beatnheart.

5.  I know Thom Brown already bestowed this award to my blogging buddy Savira, but frankly her blog Living, Laughing Breathing! is so wonderful, she deserves the double-prize! This blog is an oasis in a desert, that's for sure!

6.  I met Erin Cole as she was just publishing her first novel Grave Echos: A Kate Waters Mystery. She's an incredible writer and a wonderful and generous woman.  Please read everything you can get your hands on at Erin Cole Writes.

7.  Sometimes as I peruse the blogging world, I find a blog that makes me chuckle.  That in itself is noteworthy.  A Moose Walked into a Bar makes me chuckle.  Check it out and have your own chuckle.

8.  Jonathan Aller paints fruit.  It's really amazing.  They look real and they make me hungry.  Do yourself a favor and have a look at Alla Prima studies by Jonathan Aller.

9.  Lots of short but sweet stories for lovers of fiction at Fiction for Dessert.

10.  Great musings and anecdotes at Things My Mother Taught Me.  Have a look-see.  You'll be glad you did.

So these are the 10 blogs I deem worthy of "Kreativ Blogger Award!"  And as for the 10 things I need to reveal about myself...well, dear readers...that will have to wait for another day.  With all these new blogs, you have a lot of reading to do!  Enjoy!  And remember, when someone does something nice for you--pay it forward!

The Play's the Thing...

Currently, I don't have my television hooked up.  I use it strictly for watching DVD's and nothing more.  There are a variety of reasons for this, but namely it's about distraction.  I don't want the distraction of the television.  It's too easy to flit away the hours watching meaningless images on the screen.  I choose not to do this...it's as simple as that. And I'm saving some money as well which is always a good thing!

But occasionally I do miss it so I'll get my fix from watching specific shows on Hulu.  Love Hulu.  Hope it stays free. Anyway, one of the shows I enjoy watching is "Parenthood."  Sometimes I find the show annoying with all the obvious overlapping dialogue and the sanctimonious storylines, but mostly I like it. Mostly.

This week the season two finale aired on Tuesday night, which means the latest episode was available on Hulu on Wednesday.  So this is what happened in a nutshell...I'm not going to try and explain two seasons worth of this show and all the character history, but this is what I want to discuss now--One of the characters, Sarah, is a single mom raising two teens and living with her parents in their beautiful house in Berkley, CA.  She has a drug and alcohol addicted ex-husband (the father of her children, who showed up in several earlier episodes and played by cutie-patootie hippie boy John Corbett).

I'm getting to my point, I promise.  Sarah currently works as a bartender (a noble profession) but is trying to find her path in life.  She stays up all night one night and writes (presumably) a story all about her family. (which is what the TV show is about in the first place.) She takes the story to her daughter's high school English teacher (who she used to have a crush on) and he tells her it's really good writing but it should be a play.  A. PLAY.

Here's where I come in...or rather, here's where the story starts to IRK me. Sarah rewrites the story as a play.  Now it's a play all about her family.  Ok...so writers are supposed to write what we know...but suddenly Sarah seems to know everything there is to know about playwrighting and she knows details about playwrights and suddenly she knows all about the theatre.  And of course her dad knows this quirky theatrical-type director/producer played by Richard Dreyfuss who embodies every stereotype of a quirky theatrical-type complete with ascot, hat and walking stick.

So of course, in this season finale she gets her play read at the illustrious Berkley Rep to a packed crowd and the thing is...the dialogue of the play that we, the "Parenthood" viewing audience are privy to, isn't very good.  It isn't very funny.  It just looks like some mediocre version of the TV show itself.  Which, of course, it is.

All I'm saying is that it wasn't very believable. Up until now, I've been with the show all the way.  But this?  Maybe it hits too close to home.  Maybe it's because I know how hard it is to get a reading anywhere, much less at Berkley Rep.  Maybe it's sour grapes on my part.  Maybe it's because life on television shows is almost always better than the real thing.  Sometimes.  Maybe not. I don't know.  I want a play produced by Berkley Rep.  That's the truth!

So, the show hit a nerve.  And it made me realize, that maybe...just maybe...I'd be better off without television including the shows I watch on Hulu.  And maybe I need to get crackin' on this new play I'm working on (which, by the way, is NOT about my family).  And maybe I'll meet some quirky little man who wears an ascot and walks with a cane and has connections to Berkley Rep or some equally prestigious theatre. 

The Pulitzer Prize Awards were announced on Monday.  I didn't win.  Maybe because I didn't enter.  But maybe it's because I didn't have a worthy submission. 

I gotta go.  I gotta get busy.  I have a play to write.